He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
