Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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