Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
