Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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