I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
grandma shit on top of the toilet
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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