So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
