this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
