worst night to have a conscience
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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