We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
