Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
