I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
