He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I know her cup size but not her name....
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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