I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
