TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
