he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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