Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
