so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
