i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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