I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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