By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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