1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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