once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
