I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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