Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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