the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
