I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My pussy is not your playground.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
