the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
