Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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