You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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