My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
two words...techno handjob
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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