She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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