Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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