shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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