I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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