I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
