You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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