I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
