I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
