It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
