If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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