Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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