new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
