he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
