is your mom at the bar?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
