Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize