they need to just BURY HIM!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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