The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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