I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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