That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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