idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
