Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
