If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
