this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
