Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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