I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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