my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my weed a kiss
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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