Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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