Texts From Last Night

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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"

  (646): View more from New York

  how do you like your eggs?

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  over tits

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  (865): I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast" (646): how do you like your eggs? (865): over tits http://tfl.nu/9kyc
  Replies (27) Good night (4722) Bad night (705)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.

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  (845): I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach. http://tfl.nu/7dp2
  Replies (34) Good night (1381) Bad night (5245)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C

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  (401): so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C http://tfl.nu/zt1d
  Replies (12) Good night (3938) Bad night (1051)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus

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  (720): were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus http://tfl.nu/j1dg
  Replies (6) Good night (2301) Bad night (1289)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though

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  (708): we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though http://tfl.nu/249z
  Replies (4) Good night (2611) Bad night (656)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.

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  (425): I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool. (1-425): No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes. http://tfl.nu/wqbv
  Replies (2) Good night (2454) Bad night (798)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly

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  (610): just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly http://tfl.nu/15ia
  Replies (3) Good night (861) Bad night (1328)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl

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  (406): They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl http://tfl.nu/mt8s
  Replies (7) Good night (1616) Bad night (659)
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  (805): View more from California

  Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Everything hurts.

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  (805): Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all? (313): Everything hurts. http://tfl.nu/wajp
  Replies (10) Good night (1717) Bad night (543)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.

  (1248): View more from

  That'll put some boobs in that bra.

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  (248): No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it. (1248): That'll put some boobs in that bra. http://tfl.nu/9gj6
  Replies (5) Good night (1644) Bad night (531)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So all in all, a good night.

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  (717): You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young. (1-717): So all in all, a good night. http://tfl.nu/c215
  Replies (0) Good night (1448) Bad night (509)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom

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  (919): Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom http://tfl.nu/af7u
  Replies (5) Good night (1644) Bad night (437)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella

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  (901): The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella http://tfl.nu/24ug
  Replies (4) Good night (1178) Bad night (504)
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  (619): View more from California

  Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?

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  (619): Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit? http://tfl.nu/j01e
  Replies (5) Good night (1007) Bad night (334)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make

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  (202): Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make http://tfl.nu/yoxd
  Replies (5) Good night (319) Bad night (807)

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