Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  I'm eating all of the evidence.

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  (716): I'm eating all of the evidence. http://tfl.nu/m4yn
  Replies (12) Good night (2163) Bad night (522)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.

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  (972): i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants. http://tfl.nu/1aet
  Replies (6) Good night (1270) Bad night (2276)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.

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  (973): I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance. http://tfl.nu/0bj8
  Replies (13) Good night (4217) Bad night (809)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?

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  (325): just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish? http://tfl.nu/2ysn
  Replies (26) Good night (3903) Bad night (834)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.

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  (912): This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face. http://tfl.nu/ozn3
  Replies (39) Good night (1429) Bad night (6428)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.

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  (413): i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur. http://tfl.nu/9vxg
  Replies (11) Good night (5743) Bad night (1140)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit

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  (703): rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit http://tfl.nu/mkks
  Replies (14) Good night (736) Bad night (2998)
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  (415): View more from California

  You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.

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  (415): You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can. http://tfl.nu/e8s7
  Replies (5) Good night (1719) Bad night (1983)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.

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  (630): Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren. http://tfl.nu/fimu
  Replies (12) Good night (1960) Bad night (1539)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.

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  (404): I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks. http://tfl.nu/r45q
  Replies (20) Good night (3587) Bad night (777)
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  (323): View more from California

  There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream

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  (323): There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream http://tfl.nu/r44r
  Replies (9) Good night (477) Bad night (1139)
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  (516): View more from New York

  YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.

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  (516): YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test. http://tfl.nu/ods7
  Replies (8) Good night (609) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.

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  (702): Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state. http://tfl.nu/qc3a
  Replies (4) Good night (397) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego

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  (617): Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego http://tfl.nu/3a07
  Replies (0) Good night (429) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...

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  (856): his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits... http://tfl.nu/dl6r
  Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (347)

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