Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program