i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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