If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
