You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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