We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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