Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
