I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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