your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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