I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
