We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
we're so committed to being not committed
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
